Writing actions for Bryce leaving the simulation was easy. The goal of this scene is to show the cool technology of the school (indicated by lighting and by the VR glasses), reveal that the story has taken place inside a video simulation, and show how frustrated Bryce is. This is what I wrote up:
"SCENE 4
A dark room. The walls are black, isolating the subject in their chair. Ominous light glimmers in the visor on the subject’s face; the white, high tech material glows in the blacklight.
BRYCE JOLTS BACK IN THE CHAIR. WHEN HE COMES TO, RETURNING TO AN UPRIGHT POSITION, FRUSTRATION PAINTS HIS FACE. HE SEIZES THE VISOR AND CHUCKS IT AT THE FLOOR.
BRYCE
Dammit!
HE GETS UP FROM THE CHAIR AND STORMS OUT OF THE ROOM."
Nothing overly complex. I attempted to be clear about the visuals of the room in order to showcase a "show not tell" mindset during this scene. It had to be obvious that this was a high tech environment, and that the character is emerging from a video world. This will ultimately come across due to some good set design, lighting, and acting from Jakob, who plays Bryce.
Now, scene #5. This was going to be a bit more difficult, as it aimed to drive home the main message of the film: the competitive nature of schools was toxic to students. This was to be capped at the end with a voiceover from the school announcer, giving prelude before finally announcing the winner.
With this frame, I simply continued where the previous scene left off:
"SCENE 5
Now in reality. Vastly different than the simulated world with its overt perfection. This place is gritty and real, authentic and familiar to the characters and the audience. This is the real world.
BRYCE ERUPTS FROM A DOOR INTO THE OUTDOORS. HE PACES AROUND IN ANGER UNTIL HE COLLAPSES AGAINST THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING. BRYCE SNEAKS A GLANCE TO SEE IF ANYONE IS WATCHING HIM BREAKDOWN, TO SEE ISABELLA STARING, DISAPPOINTINGLY, AT HIM.
Luis and I plan on showing this extreme contrast in environments not only through a different brightness and saturation but by using an entirely different camera to record (this is t o a t l l y on purpose and not because our rental period on our previous camera was up).
Garrett is the only character (besides Courtney and Riley) that has not had a lot of screentime. This was intentional though as he was eliminated at the beginning of the film. His only dialogue appearing a the end of the film is important as he elaborates to one of the other eliminated students about his perspective of the competition, which is anti-competing. After talking with Luis, we decided that Isa would be the best student to have this conversation as she has an established relationship w Bryce and the audience, so her inclusion would make the most sense.
This is the final draft of the script we wrote. There are two specific lines at the conclusion that Luis and I talked about for 30 minutes to change, and I will talk about them afterwards:
"CONTINUING THROUGH THE PARK, ISA IS CONSUMED BY SOME TASK. SHE IS INTERRUPTED BY A FRIENDLY VOICE.
GARRETT
Hey Isa!
ISA turns.
GARRETT
How are you?
ISA
(unsure, but vulnerable) I’ve been better.
GARRETT
How’d the competition go?
ISA
Were you not watching it? The school was live streaming it everywhere.
GARRETT
I wasn’t on my phone, so——
ISA connects the dots.
ISA
Yellow guy? Are you the kid that got booted first?
GARRETT
Yeah.
ISA
Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. The water glitch is so dumb, the school should’ve patched it by now.
GARRETT nods.
ISA
That was part of the rules though, to not touch liquids. But you knew that… did you eliminate yourself on purpose?
GARRETT
Why are you analyzing this so much?
ISA
(confused affirmation) So you did?
GARRETT
(beat.) I don’t like people competing with each other.
ISA
But that’s what makes wins so satisfying. You work harder than everyone else than get the “w”.
GARRETT
What is that “w” though? I’d bet you don’t have the same goal as Bryce or Riley.
ISA
Right…
FOLLOWING SCENE CUTS BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN ANDREW AND MIRANDA IN SIMULATION, BRYCE DISTRAUGHT, AND GARRETT AND ISA TALKING. WAVES CRASHING.
GARRETT
That’s what I don’t get. People break their backs taking these hard classes, getting As by staying up late and having panic attacks and stuff. That’s awful.
ISA
Sure, but that's just the cost of success. We need the best grades to get into a good college and then get a good job.
GARRETT
Well, what about you?
ISA
I mean, that’s all everybody thinks about. I don’t want to be left behind.
GARRETT
That’s twisted.
ISA
(sighs) There’s not a lot we can do about it."
Wow. I am incredibly proud of how I've wrapped this scene together. There is Gen Z vocabulary, Garrett showing off his personality, and the message is stated clearly and in a manner that isn't shoving it down the throats of the audience. That part was extremely difficult to get down; Luis and I wanted to make our point as clear as possible but using teenage-realistic vocabulary. phew.
Now that the challenging part was out of the way, I continued to write the rest of the film. The announcer's dialogue was primarily Luis's words, as he has a broader vocabulary for authoritative words than me. I actually wrote up directions for the credits as well, which I'll share as well:
"ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Thank you to all students who participated in this year’s competition! This prestigious honor is bestowed upon one dedicated student among the best and the brightest of their peers, whose hard work has now ensured their future success. With this title, they will be respected by all future associates. By student vote, the victor of Stok High School’s tournament is—
“VALEDICTORIAN”. THE VICTOR IS NOT SEEN. IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO WINS. THE WAVES CONTINUE TO CRASH AGAINST THE BEACH AS THE CREDITS ROLL.
CREDITS
A yearbook photo is shown. Their name appears above the description of all the titles they hold. The cast is shown in this order: COURTNEY and RILEY, Z and CHARLIE, ANDREW and MIRANDA, ISA and BRYCE, Jake, then Luis. Special thanks (Syd and Tariq (costumes), Zachk (casting), Tina (Breif thank you)). Production logos.
FIN"
I'm incredibly excited to film the final scene, call THAT'S A WRAP on production, and get started on editing!! This is happening so fast and I'm eager to see the finished product!!
Till Next Time, Have a Great Day,
P.S. I just thought about the website and postcard... Thank goodness Luis and I have been talking about them behind the scenes, Those posts will probably go up during spring break!
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